A Day to Remember

A bed not of my making
A room sterile
Strangers with kindness
And judgement

An anonymous high window
An air conditioning vista
An uncomfortable chair
and a person I don’t know

The sounds of pain
Not my world, someone else’s problem
Trying to be invisible and anonymous
Dignity left on the couch

Watching meaningless TV
Processing, processing,
Betrayal is a word bandied about
To add to the day I will remember for the rest of my life.

No trust
A reversion to childhood disease
Without the ice cream
Jokes and a personal life stripped away – probably for the best

What is past is questioned
The future is doubt
Alone, guilty, and lost
Trying not to be a cause or a punchline

A choice is given with a side of sigma
The collapsing of a life
The fallout is lives
An accomplice in the hidden is born

A rat in a maze
Pushed by circumstance and a Gordian Knot
This is not a joy ride
But a crossing of a Rubicon

Locked in but resisting the urge to walk out
To find a parking garage
A busy street
Anywhere but with thought and memory or nowhere

Orderly lines and mind altering pills
Community in disunity
Trying to find safety in a safe space
Finding adversity and rules

The separation of days leads to the separation of minds
Shared adversity is now anger and betrayal
That word again
Forever, and silently, accepted

Days turn to weeks
Accusation turns to acceptance
Of sorts
Nothing is forgotten, and words cut with unsaid barbs

When home beckons
And another community of disunity opens its doors
“How’s that working for you”
Frustration and hopelessness

But the sun is shining
It’s Christmas
Does it matter?
There is an end in sight but wreckage remains

Weeks end, and reality, no more mundane, but real just the same, returns
The unsaid remains a storm cloud
And a rejection of one world by another hurts
Much like the acceptance plays out like revenge

The rain eventually came
Like most pregnant storms – the relief was palpable
Moves and changes in purpose
A slow motion disintegration

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