The Pause

Disappeared in to the endless summer
Leaving only damage and doubt
Licking of wounds and a goal of “moving on.”
Pretending everything was just fine.

An apparition in a summer dress and hat
Tattooed bare shoulder
With a hipster I can never be
Like the lover I never was
In a crowd of thousands, on the grass, on a summer’s day, listening to music

“Hold, hold on, hold on to me”
It was not you, but it so could have been and in the moment it did not matter, it was you
It was the us that could of been
And ground opened up and swallowed me whole

Not moving on, but moved on,
Fixed in time and mind
Stripped and reveled by a pop song
All facades removed, discarded, and  annihilated

Not whether, but how.

“I might be better off without you”
But at that moment to try was all that mattered
To give up, was to not to fail, but to ignore ones self
The pause is not the end, but the midpoint

What comes before and after is what matters. 

I never told you this story
Told others, even told the band
In time the songs would be transposed on to someone else
The songs were about how I felt, not about you

The pause, decision, and the feelings of that day
Getting lost in a field of green and noise
Alone in the sea of connection and caring
Forever to be a missed opportunity.

But I tried.

Apologies to X Ambassadors for the appropriation.

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