Living in Shadow

There are lots of rules
He tells me what to do
And when
I don’t always remember
Or listen
Distraction and excitement

He loves me, I think
I love him, and not just for the omnipotence
Our routine and stability
What’s not to love?
Of course there are disappointments

And there is anger
But I am always forgiven
Perhaps a sign of control
Of trying to understand all the words
Trying to understand the world

Yet, I yearn for adventure
The secure and safe kind
The kind I can retreat from at will
Faux risk and bravado

But he knows best
My emotions and desires get the better of me
We are not known for our self control
A road to self destruction
Trust, up to a point
As much trust as I can muster

Bland food and bland days
Sleep and keeping myself amused
There are times I am not a priority
And I get that
I understand my privileges
Although I don’t always like the state of affairs

His need and vulnerabilities can be unnerving
I can’t fill all the gaps in a life
From the shadows
But I can defend the home from all enemies
both foreign and domestic
Or give it my best shot

He is my human
This one is mine.

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